Traumatic Automatons
Among the books I read, Hugo Cabret has been the most
impactful on my life. I was in my second
year of elementary school when I first cracked open the book. Up until then, sad stories did not exist in
my knowledge of literature. Hugo Cabret
opened my eyes to this new somber world and led me down a very dark path. I read books normally that were bright in
nature. For example, the children’s
books of Beverly Clearly was a popular read for me. It was a proper representation of positive
relatable Utopian life. Just in case for
those who haven’t read Hugo Cabret, I’ll give a quick summary.
Hugo Cabret is a story about a boy named Hugo who lives alone
in the dark hallways of a train station within France. He is a self-made horologist who keeps track
of all the clocks in the train station and keeps them in peak condition
(oiling, resetting, and rewinding the hands of the clock). Unfortunately, his father died in a fire when
he was a child and his uncle took care of him for a little bit before he “abandoned”
him. Learning about these initial
conditions of Hugo for me was a life-changing experience. For a long time, I was a sheltered child,
sheltered by the love of my parents and friends. I had no idea that such loneliness for a
child around my age was possible.
The story spiraled around the events of this lonely boy and
how he came to meet and become part of a family. Throughout his journey, he encounters the
ghosts of his past (his father and past events) and has traumatic experiences,
that to me as a second grader was horrifying.
I still have the images of deformed humans, a museum building burning
down with a man in it, and a blank faced automation in my head. At that point of traumatic reading, I put
down the book and didn’t even look at it for another three months.
For those three months, my behavior changed. For the most part, I couldn’t get the book out of my head. I had the images stuck in my head, which in turn made me depressed all day. I realized that the unrefined thoughts were affecting my day to day though processes and activities, and decided to face my fears by continuing to read it. I wanted to reach the end no matter what. I figured it would let my mind be at peace. Fortunately enough, it does have a “happy ending”, which concluded the unhappy thoughts I used to have. To this day though, my first experience reading it haunts me through the fact that another book with the same effect might come another day.
Note*: If you guys remember my friend from my last blog post, he posted a blog about me. Go read it!
I remember reading that book. I had a very similar reaction when I read it, I had never read a book that was that emotionally heavy. Looking back, I appreciate appreciate the book more, however at the time it had a huge impact. I like how you describe your emotions at the beginning of the back and the end too.
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